Hello, friends. I’m watching tennis as I recap the week, which means the week’s ending on a high note. But still: What a week! It looked something like this:
First I went to see an eye doctor, who told me I have a 5% chance of going blind. Yep, with all the awesome bedside manner in the world, this person told me I have narrow angles and should get a preventative treatment that involves zapping a hole in my eye. Both eyes. The risks of that procedure? Oh, maybe some halos. Brief internal bleeding. And…it might not work. But if I don’t get the prophylaxis, 5% chance of going blind. This was actually the second doctor I’ve seen about this. The first was slightly more ambivalent, but not much. So now I’m going to a third person. I think my plan is to just keep going to doctors until one of them tells me I’m fine. The upshot? Anxiety.
PSA:
Also this week: I decided to join a study for people who have freakish diabetes that no doctor can explain. Yay. I have stumped the best of them and because I want to know what the heck the problem is and if it’s genetic and if maybe I’ve passed my super awesome genes down to my kid, I agreed to the study. Doesn’t mean I’ll get any closer to getting an answer though, or a meaningful treatment plan. What it does mean is: Anxiety.
Finally, I’ve had Crohn’s Disease since 2008. It sucks. It’s one of those diseases whose treatment is arguably more toxic and debilitating than the disease itself—for me, anyway. In general, my options are: take medicine that really kinda makes you feel horrible, and which comes with a cancer risk, or don’t take medicine, which comes with a cancer risk. This week my gastro told me “these are big decisions.” The upshot of all this? Anxiety!
Funny thing is, I feel fine. If not for all these yearly, routine tests (I am not looking for trouble, I swear) telling me I am falling apart, I’d mostly be complaining about a bad stomach sometimes, made worse by ANXIETY.
Which anxiety is compounded by having to switch to janky insurance in a few months, having decided to leave my stable job to get back to a more creative, albeit “what have I done??” kind of life.
How are YOU?
I also heard this week from someone who was in her house while a tornado blew through her sunroom. She’d put on a football helmet as protection. I cannot get this image out of my head. And to think I’m complaining.
Separately, last week’s poll results were more depressing than I’d anticipated, which seems short-sighted given the question. Drum roll: 50% of you feel less alive without question; 40% with caveat; and 10% of you have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m super interested in this 10%. Does the concept of feeling “less alive” just not register with you? This seems fascinating. Say more! Leave a comment!
I also went to Mike Albo’s launch of his new YA novel, Another Dimension of US, which sounds lovely and humane and kinda nuts. Perfect!
Well, I dunno about you, but I feel better now. Tune in next week for something or other, and try to stay healthy.
FM